Death

My maternal grandmother died in 1989 on Ash Wednesday, a week after my father passed away. I grew up in an idealized world not experiencing death, then in the space of a week, I lost a parent and a grandparent. Shock. Grief. Mourning. So begins my nonfiction piece in the anthology Grandmother, Mother and Me. Apparently I left out “Disbelief”. That is considered the first reaction to any death whether sudden or expected. Disbelief that the person is no longer with us, that we will never again have them at our side. I learned this at a talk on Grief Counselling held by Hannah Sun-Reid. Then follows the ‘what ifs’. We all engage in reimagining what could have happened if only… The year was 1989. It’s decades later and now death visits quite often. Only last week we lost a dear aunt and a good friend. The death of an elderly aunt was not unexpected. It was her time. The death of the friend was not sudden but it was unexpected. He was only seventy. Not young but not elderly. Until diagnosed last summer with a fatal illness he was healthy and fit. Yes, he had diabetes but he had that under control. He was always a healthily eater and did not drink. He was still active and lived a full life. He often travelled. Fate could have struck anyone, even one of us. We are mortal. Until I reached my senior years I failed to fully grasp that concept. Of course, I knew about human mortality but now I know it differently. Now I know it is only a matter of time. I hope I still have many years, decades in fact, ahead of me. I feel gratitude for this life I have every day I awake and open my eyes to its wonders.

MOV.GG

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dmwauthor

amateur dancer with Margaret Morris Method

3 thoughts on “Death”

  1. I’m very sorry to hear of the passing of your aunt and your friend, Donna. And how very hard it must have been for you that week in 1989 losing your father and grandmother. That first death that hits the core of your soul- well, you never get over it but it becomes part of you and you learn to live with it, more or less.

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  2. Having lost a very close friend this Summer this blog was relevant for me- Having lost parents and grandparents before – I found losing a friend a completely different experience.

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  3. Such truth here, Donna. For all of us heading into those ‘golden years’ it is only a matter of time. (My mother used to say “We know neither the day nor the hour.”)
    My condolences on the death of your friend. I send you a hug.

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